Denmark Is What?
by HappyBlack179
Summary: Apparently something crazy happened. Like what you ask? Denmark is pregnant. That's right, pregnant. Read and find out what happens when Norway finds out. DenNor/NorDen, utter randomness! Requested by FiberWhite. Craziest fanfic ever.


**HEI GUYS! I'm back! Brand new short story requested by my best friend FiberWhite! I was just killing myself laughing writing this! *Wipes a tear away.* So much randomness. But anyway. FiberWhite, your a bloody ****genious! And... Enjoy everyone!**

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Lukas sighed as he heard a scream of shock. "What is that Dane doing now…" He murmured before walking into the bathroom, where he found his lover sitting in the unfilled bathtub in fetal position, rocking back and forth childishly.

"Matthias." Upon hearing his name, the man looked up with wide blue eyes. "…Ja…?"

"The fuck are you doing?" The Norwegian asked, hand raised to face palm or slap. Matthias couldn't really tell at this point, nor did he care.

Taking a deep breath to collect his thoughts, the Dane reached up and handed Lukas the plastic stick.

"….Why the hell do you have a pregnancy test?" Lukas asked, setting it down and helping Matthias to his feet. You'd think he'd be used to stupid shit like this from him, but no, Matthias never seemed to stop with the idiocy.

Said Dane picked up the pregnancy test and shoved it in the Norwegian's face, waving it around like an over burning torch from the Viking Era. "NORGE! I-"Matthias yelled hysterically. "What? Are you dying or some shit?" Lukas asked, ready to crack the idiot. "NEJ! I'M PREGO!"

Lukas just stared at Matthias like he'd grown another head or something. "What?" He asked. "JA! THAT'S WHAT I SAI-" "Are you fucking nuts?" Lukas asked carefully, taking a step back from the possibly out-sane Dane. "Nej! Lukas I'm not! Well… Not that I know of anyway. But that's not the point!" "What the fuck are you on now Matthias?" Lukas asked, bracing himself.

"Nej, look Lukas…" Matthias whispered, showing the smaller man the pregnancy test again. "I promise I'm not fucked up…" Lukas just bonked his boyfriend on the head and took the test from the other's shaking hand, looking at it carefully, only for his normally emotionless eyes to widen, reading it over to make sure he was delusional.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." "Luk-" "Nei. I'm done with this shit." "Bu-" "Nei. Done." Lukas cut off, walking out with a face-palm.

***5 SECONDS LATER….***

Matthias perked up, hearing Lukas' shoes tap back into the bathroom. "Okej. Let's have this baby." The Norwegian said, making Matthias' head tilt to the side curiously. "I… Really?" "Ja." "Lukas! You're the best! Jeg elsker dig!" The Dane yelled excitedly, hugging his boyfriend with joy. Lukas just sighed at his childishness and hugged him back. "Jeg elsker deg også."

Matthias just smiled with content until he hit a realization. "Uhh… Lukas?" "Ja?" "…How the fuck did this even happen?" Matthias asked, more to himself but also to his boyfriend. "What do you mean?" "I mean… Why aren't you pregnant? I was the one doing the fucking…" "DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT!" Lukas yelled before slapping his boyfriend so hard he flew out of the bathroom and into Berwald and Tino's room across the hall.

"WHAT THE FUCK MATTHIAS!" "Hej guys! Since I'm here I might as well say it." Lukas heard Mattias say from the dubbed SuFin room.

"What…? What is it Matthias?" Tino asked, helping Matthias up as Lukas walked in.

"I'M PREGNANT!"

"…Are you on something….?" Berwald asked after a long silence. "Unfortunately, nei, he's not." Lukas replied, finally speaking up, making Tino smile happily. "Congratulations! I'm so very joyful for you Matthias! And you too Lukas!" He said, hugging them both.

"But how does this work…?" Lukas asked, the room going quiet. "Woah… Wait… What if…" "M-Matthias… Calm down…."

"AM I SUPPOSED TO SHIT THIS THING OUT OR SOMETHING!?" Matthias yelled, going into hysteria again. "Lukas do something!" Tino begged, hiding behind Berwald as Matthias turned into what resembled a raging Stegosaurus.

"MATTHIAS! SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL MAKE YOU SLEEP ON THE COUCH!" Lukas yelled, making the Dane squeak and hug him tightly. "Please don't Lukas! Don't make me sleep on the couch! It's uncomfortable!" "Are you going to shut up?" Lukas asked. "Ja jeg er ked af!" Matthias replied with a sharp nod. "Okej."

"You know what Lukas?" Matthias asked, his face becoming serious. "Hm?" "I bet this was Arthur's fault!" "…Probably."

***TIMESKIP/Author's paragraph. (YOU BETTER READ IT!)***

I bet you want to know what happens next right? WELL! The Nordics (With the exception of Iceland because he was probably out banging Hong Kong.), blamed England for Denmark's unexpected pregnancy. Therefore, they got into their old Viking armour, found one of the old ships (Because they like to arrive in style.), and sailed off to England's house. Ready to beat the shit outta him.

***BACK TO THE STORY!***

"Arthur! We know your in there! Get your sorry ass out here before we bust your door down!" Matthias yelled, banging on the poor old door. "I'm coming I'm coming!" Arthur yelled as he opened the door, only to stop and stare.

"What the bloody hell are you wearing?" Arthur asked, already intimidated by the Northern Nations. "WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO!?" Matthias demanded, waving his battle ax in the Brit's face. "What the hell are you talking about!?" "I'M PREGNANT BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"…Oh? Well. Congratulations. I always thought it would be Lukas being the one pregnant." "Why is it always me….?" Lukas asked himself as Tino piped up. "So your not the reason Matthias is pregnant?" "No." "Oh…. Okej… Well… TIME TO GO GUYS!" Matthias yelled before walking back to the ship.

***TIMESKIP!***

Walking back up to the house, Matthias stared at the sky thoughtfully as Berwald and Tino went ahead. "Prior engagements." Was what Tino had said anyway.

"Matthias." Lukas said, catching up to the Dane. "Ja?" "You know you can't drink when your pregnant right?" "…What…?" "No beer." "…." "Matthias… Are you okej…?" Lukas asked as the Dane dropped to his knees.

"NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ JJJ!"

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**AND THAT'S THE END! XD I love this thing! XD It's so much easier to type up fanfics now that I have my laptop! :D Once more, FiberWhite, your a genious! **

**Thanks for reading everyone! REVIEW!**


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